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My results weren't very good... Here it is.
Subjects Test 1 Test 2 Average Grades
English 55.0 57.0 56.0 C5
Chinese 46.0 43.0 44.5 E8
A Maths 100.0 100.0 100.0 A1
E Maths VR 75.0 75.0 A1
Sciences(P , C) 70.0 70.0 70.0 A2
Humanities(S , G) 64.3 70.0 67.15 B3
Principle of A/c 68.0 90.0 79.0 A1
Overall: 70.2% (A2)
L1R5: 13
It's still not enough. Surprisingly. ): Maybe i'm having high hopes on myself.
I have something on my mind that i wanted to say. I can't hold it anymore.
It's really painful, holding on to every single thing that i have to maintain.
My dreams, my results, my ideals that i wanted to bring it to reality.
Then you came into the picture.
And that adds on to what i have now.
When i think of you, i feel that it is a blessing. But i can't open my mouth to tell you that.
You are so close, yet i feel that you are so far away from me.
I feel useless not having the courage to tell you that.
Nevertheless, it's still considered to be a blessing to like you.
I've used you to be my motivation to push myself harder, always telling myself,
"You must do it for her sake, push yourself harder to your fullest potential and succeed."
Yet, i didn't help you in anyway, nor you have come up to me to ask for help.
I don't wish for much, just want to help you when you're in need, to be there for you,
Even if we were friends for life, and nothing more.
It really pains me whenever i think of that, but i don't mind about it.
I'm willing to wait, even if you are in a relationship.
But it really hurts, whenever i think of this.
How i wish i did not fall for you in the first place.
If i did, will life be better?
Ot it'll be even worse than before?
Thinking of this cruel and harsh facts, i can't help feeling down.
But i still hold on to that dim, diminished hope that will just die out anytime.
Always telling myself that i still stand a chance.
Though i don't have the looks of your "perfect" partner,
Or you don't even like me,
I still cling on, telling myself not to give in easily.
I'm too exhausted to think about all this things.
It is really exhausting, both physically and emotionally.
Will this feeling of mine towards you ever last?
Will the things that i want come true, or it'll just be another dream that will never come true?
Only god knows.
Gosh, i can't believe i've just said that. It's so emo, i think. But i feel much better. (:
Walking the path of heaven, the one who will rule over everything.